Sunday, April 17, 2011

Warning: Alcohol, Cussing, & Complaining Are The Theme Of The Day.

So some of you may or may not have noticed that I've been a little busier this past week or so. It was because I was stressed and nervous as hell about a job interview I had coming up. Earlier this week, I went to the first interview, which I got through, and then Friday I had the second interview. I was VERY excited about this job and thought I'd crushed the interviews. Well turns out I didn't crush them at all. Just found out today that I was passed over for even a third interview, let alone the damn job. Needless to say, after I found out yesterday, I was pretty upset. First I considered wine. Then wine and nachos. Then wine and wine. Then I tried to be optimistic but I just cried my eyes out instead. I felt dejected, rejected, insecure, and like a failure AND a loser. In the end, after crying a whole lot and hating myself a whole lot more, I decided to do the one thing that I CAN freaking control, and which might actually make me feel better through the whole release of endorphins and stuff. Exercise.
So at 11pm, I drag myself away from my one person pity party and put my gym clothes on, and head over to the gym, raccoon eyes and all. (Side note: I NEVER go anywhere without makeup on. Ever. Even to the mailbox.)
And wtf happens when I get there? My goddamn effing keycard wont work. Something is wrong with the lock on the door, and I can't get in to work out. It's 11:30 by the time this is all said and done, and I loudly proclaim this day to go fuck itself and tell my husband I need a drink.
Which is when he turns around and tells me that the bottle shops here close at 11. Which is where I then turn around and tell this day to get fucked again, and that I want to go home where we are all lushes and the bottle shops would never think of closing before midnight on a Saturday night.
What I wanted to do was just relax. I wanted to curl up with my family and watch a movie and eat pizza and just chill out, or have a few glasses of wine with my husband and let alcohol make all the noise and sadness go away for a little while, and deal with my emotions fresh the next day.
So yeah, I had two beers and a glass of red wine. Those of you that know me know that I really must have been feeling like crap, because i hate beer and red wine with a passion.
I stayed up till 4:30am talking to my husband and looking at random amusing pictures and videos online because, you know, everyone feels better after a glass of wine and watching a penguin get tickled. If you don't, then you have no soul.

Thankfully - I feel WAY better today. I didn't get the job, but its not a huge deal, there will be more opportunities and jobs in my life, and maybe that just wasn't right for me now, or maybe I really wasn't right for them right now. Either way it is what it is and no amount of feeling crappy is actually going to change what happened, it's only going to prolong negative feelings, and I am all about letting go of negativity and focusing on the good these days.

So here's the good.

I love the people I work with. I truly truly enjoy everyone at my work, and I was actually sad to think of leaving them. They're a unique quirky bunch and I love that about them.

I'm healthy-ish and getting healthier. I feel really good most days, and haven't been actually sick in a long time. I have more energy, better moods, better skin, nice hair, and I can only see that getting better in the future.

I'm doing very well in school. This means a lot to me. I've always felt really pathetic about not finishing university, and to start back when I was 27 and be getting straight A's is very personally rewarding for me.

I have wonderful friends. Over the last few years since the move here, I've lost a lot of my friends, but the ones who remain, and the new friends I have made, are really just awesome people. They have put up with my complaining and inconsistencies and always still been there for me, even if I haven't seen them in years or months. They still keep me in the loop and leave me sweet messages, and I know if I rang them up in tears, they would listen even if we haven't spoken in forever.

I have a fantastic husband. Really. The amount of support I get from my husband is wonderful. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, or how often I change my mind about it, or how much I repeat myself or how inconsequential what I'm talking about is, he always listens. My husband listens to me talk about other peoples problems, my own problems, my hair, my weight, my diet, my school, my rants and fits and anything else I happen to blather on about. He always tells me how amazing I am, how beautiful I am, how intelligent I am, and he truly seems to think that I am one of the most awesome people on the planet, second only to himself. (He's an arrogant one, my Lion. ;) )

And lastly, I have an exceptional child. My daughter is intelligent, astute, has an amazing memory, is the most diplomatic child in the world, is supremely sarcastic, and is quirky and weird and has a very single minded determination that is going to take her far in life. I won't even bother writing more about her. Like most mothers, I believe my child to be one of the most amazing things in the existence of the galaxy, and could probably write a novel about how awesome she is. :)

Yesterdays Food. (Saturday April 16)

Exam Fuel: 2 Mochas. POINTS: 2

Breakfast:  Tortilla w/ egg whites, canadian bacon, bell peppers, red onion and fake cheese. POINTS: 4.5

I ran out of bagel thins!

Lunch: None. POINTS: 0

Dinner: Pei Wei Asian Diner - Thai Dynamite Chicken. POINTS: 15

Had never been to Pei Wei before.. probably won't go back. The sauces were too sweet.

Bits & Pieces: Hand-crafted Italian Soda @ work, & 1/2 Iced Hazelnut Latte. POINTS: 2

This is a bad picture, but these are so good!

Alcohol: 2 Bud Select Beers and 1 glass of red wine. POINTS:  6

Blech. So gross.

4am Snack: 3 Wasas w/ spinach avocado dip. POINTS: 4

I totally could have destroyed nachos at this time. Dinner @ 5pm does not work out well for me!

Exercise: None. POINTS Earned: 0

Daily Points Allowed: 22
Daily POINTS used: 33.5/22
Weekly POINTS Used: 11.5/35
Remaining Weekly POINTS: 23.5
Exercise POINTS Earned: 0
Weekly Exercise: 3 days / 5 days  

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry you didn't get the job you thought you wanted. And I'm sorry that you had to drink BEER. :(


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